At White Rose, we are always amazed and quite proud to see how much traditions have changed over the years in regards to funerals. There are so many unique and special traditions associated with funerals even just in our beloved Yorkshire and it speaks to the personal and difficult nature of saying goodbye that there can be so many slightly different funerals happening. One place where traditions have certainly changed is in the art of the offering people give to show their condolences to the family of the deceased.

In the past, the typical donation at a funeral would have been flowers, a tradition that has its origins in prehistoric times and one that is the most common image people think of when picturing a funeral. A casket lovingly adorned with flowers from dear friends and relatives is one of the most powerful and symbolic images associated with traditional UK funerals. This is still an important and popular way of honouring the dead and sending your best wishes to the bereaved.

However, also increasing in popularity and relevance is the charitable donation. This often is in the form of a donation to a cause that was close to the deceased and is done for a number of different reasons. For a large funeral, it can be done to limit the number of flowers donated. It could also be done to offer freedom of choice to those attending and remove the need to choose and organise a flower donation. In an age where charitable causes are high, many just believe in doing a bit of good and a funeral donation is a symbolic way of doing it.

Of course, general etiquette should be taken into account as well as the deceased’s wishes when deciding what to donate at a funeral so here’s a couple of things to bear in mind when making a donation. These are mostly common sense as there isn’t really a wrong answer as long as you are following the advice and requests of the deceased’s family. Showcasing your support means far more than any donation could.

If donating flowers, choosing the right flowers is important but shouldn’t be seen as a source of panic and stress. At the end of the day, it is the thought that counts and as long as it isn’t ridiculous, it is hard to go wrong. It helps to be in contact with those arranging the funeral as that will help with general colour and arrangement choices. Also, you’ll need to know when the funeral is taking place and who you need to notify whether that be the family of the deceased or the funeral director so having early contact is helpful. 

When picking flowers, it helps to think of the deceased. What was their preference? Did they have any particular favourites that stand out? What was their personality like? How did they like to dress or present themselves? This will help with choosing the colours as well as knowing how extravagant a display you should use. Bear in mind that the more intricate and larger displays will demand an earlier ordering time and this is something that you need to be aware of.

If you decide to donate to a charity, there will usually be one or two recommendations from the family. It’s best to donate early so that the donation can be processed and the family can arrange thank you notes to donors. If you aren’t given a charity to donate to, it’s best to choose one that relates to the family but this is a rare occurrence as the donations are often handled by a funeral director who usually requires a chosen charity. 

In terms of how to donate, you can often donate on the day through a collection plate but most of the time, it is best to send the money to the funeral director or responsible family member to allow them to sort the donation and keep all money together. It is also common these days to have a link to a donation page and some major charities provide opportunities for memorial pages. Money can also be collected through donation services such as justgiving or gofundme and then passed onto the relevant charities, these allow for a more personal touch and better access for all relatives and friends. These links can often be found on the back of the Order of Ceremony for the funeral as well as any other instructions on how to donate. If you are wondering what donation you should make, common protocol is to donate what you would have paid for flowers if not a bit more.

When deciding what to do, just remember the support you offer the bereaved will be the main thing that is appreciated, whether that is in the form of a charitable donation or a floral arrangement. The loss of a loved one can be very difficult and donations and floral tributes cement how much the person was loved and how much they’ll be missed.